Only 'Cause You're the Last Man on Earth
by Calethos Verilain Blacksworth
Summary: Shinji fails to cope with his post 3I world. He contemplates suicide, but can Asuka dissuade him from it? Revamped, partially.
1. Shinji's Need

Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with anything dealing with  
Evangelion, except the DVDs, and I don't even own a copy the originals, I own a  
copy the translated stuff put out by ADV (meaning, yes, I bought it from  
Suncoast).  
  
Author's notes: Well, erm, let's see... I wrote this because I thought the idea  
was interesting at the time. I like Shinji/Rei fics more, but I guess after 3I,  
Shinji kinda has no choice in whether he has Rei or Asuka to keep him company,  
eh? Enjoy the fic.  
  
  
Neon Genesis Evangelion  
Only 'Cause You're the Last Man on Earth:  
A Short Fan Fiction  
Shinji/Asuka pairing  
Rated PG-13 for adult themes and adult language.  
  
Asuka stared off into space. From the floor, she stared at the ceiling, at the  
fan that whirred about, at the light in the ceiling, and finally at Shinji who  
sat off and out of the way in a chair, staring at the ceiling with a look of  
agony on his face. She felt her neck. This made, what, five times now? But who  
counts these things anyway? Surely not Asuka, who felt her own hands wanting to  
rub the neck loose from Shinji's tightened grip.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Asuka. Really. I didn't mean it." Shinji looked on the verge of  
tears. He seemed so manly one second, and so pitiful the next. It was the first  
half that scared her, and the second that made her feel his superior.  
  
"Baka Shinji." Asuka got up from the floor and began rubbing her neck. She  
walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The mark was still on her neck  
from his hands. She sighed. Maybe moving to an apartment somewhat resembling  
Misato's old place wasn't such a good idea. She thought it might calm and soothe  
Shinji a little bit, all it had done was bring old agressions back from the past  
and in the open, where he could confront them openly against Asuka. "I'm  
stupid," she declared to herself. "Shinji, I'm taking a shower. Don't you dare  
come in, or else!" Asuka stuck her head out of the bathroom door to look at  
Shinji. He hadn't acknowledged her statement, or her threat. She sighed and  
turned on the shower.  
  
Asuka finished showering and came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped  
around her. She found Shinji sitting where he had been, how he had been, with  
the same anguished look on his face. Something wasn't right. "Shinji?" she  
called out. No response. "Hey! Baka Shinji! Wake up! Don't you dare look over  
here, or I'll kill you." Shinji remained motionless. "Shinji?" she tried again.  
She walked over to Shinji.  
  
Shinji stared at the same spot on the wall he'd been staring at for the last few  
minutes. Asuka pulled a corner of the towel up and waited for Shinji's reaction.  
Still nothing. She pulled off her towel and threw it at him. "There, hentai!  
Happy now?"  
  
"No," he said sadly. He continued staring at the wall. He didn't bother pulling  
the towel off him. "I'm sorry for making you suffer like this, Asuka. I should  
have went through with it all."  
  
"Eh?!? You're SORRY?!? What kind of hentai bastard are you anyway?" She slapped  
Shinji. His head turned away with the force of the slap. He didn't try to  
correct it.  
  
"Should I just finish it, Asuka? Should I finish myself and join everyone?"  
  
"What are you talking about, Shinji?"  
  
"This building is high up. This apartment is high off the ground. If I jumped  
from the window, do you think I'd be dead when I hit the ground?"  
  
Asuka grabbed Shinji and shook him, forgetting her nakedness. "Shinji! Baka!  
Don't leave me here by myself, damn you!" She slapped Shinji's face the other  
way.  
  
"I wonder what kind of mark I'd leave on the street."  
  
"Don't talk that way, Shinji!" Asuka yelled. Tears welled up in her eyes. "You  
don't really want to die, do you?"  
  
"Yes. Don't you?"  
  
"No! Come on, Shinji, wake up already!" Shinji continued staring at nothingness.  
Asuka saw his face and where his eyes were pointed. She moved slightly out of  
his way. His eyes didn't move; they were fixated on a single point in space.  
  
Asuka kneled down to Shinji and came face-to-face with him. "I'll let you sleep  
with me tonight if you promise not to kill yourself." Silence. "Please don't  
kill yourself, Shinji! I don't want to be alone!"  
  
"I always had someone taking care of me, and me taking care of them. There was  
always someone who pretended to understand me, even a little. I always had a f-  
friend of sorts. But now, Misato-san is gone. Sensei is gone. Tousan is gone.  
Touji and Kensuke and Kaworu and everyone else I knew is gone. You're the only  
one left, and you don't seem to want to even try to understand. I don't even  
want to try to explain to you. I've never been alone, really, but I've still  
always been alone. Nobody loved me, or even liked me. Everyone betrayed me at  
the drop of a hat. Tousan, Kaworu, Ayanami-"  
  
"Shinji, I said you could sleep with me tonight."  
  
"What does it matter? Tomorrow isn't going to be any different." Shinji's eyes  
flickered a moment, only a moment, to Asuka's face, then back to his spot on the  
wall. "Are you going to make it any different? Maybe death will make it  
different."  
  
"How was any day before different that the last or the next?" Asuka asked.  
  
"Death wasn't an option. I had to live for others. Now I have an unlimited  
amount of choices, and the only one that seems right now is the one I didn't  
have back then."  
  
"Live, for me then?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then live for yourself? You said you had to live for others in the past. Live  
for yourself now."  
  
"I am nothing. I don't have anything. I don't have to do anything. My life in  
this world is full of emptiness. There is nothing in this world that can fill my  
life with something."  
  
"So I'm nothing too?"  
  
"A-Asuka, you're not nothing. You're, um, you. You're life is rich and  
fulfilling. You had and have everything. I've got nothing."  
  
"I'm still nothing then."  
  
"No you're not. You're smart, and funny, and spiteful, and tender, and loving,  
and caring, and- and -and- You're so much that I can't even think of the words.  
But me, I'm nothing. I'm pain and dispassion, I'm mean and hurtful and lousey  
and," he sighed. He left his sentence opened. "I don't have anything to live  
for. I dragged you through this entire new life, hoping that somewhere, sometime  
down the road you'd understand me. It was my mistake and you're paying for it  
instead of me. Why haven't you killed me yet?"  
  
"Damn, you're thick, Shinji. I've been sitting on my knees here telling you that  
you have me!"  
  
Shinji looked into Asuka's face. "I don't really, do I?" She nodded. Shinji  
frowned. "No I don't. Not at all."  
  
"What do I have to do? Sit on you and wiggle my fucking ass? Why the hell don't  
you get it, Shinji?" She looked into Shinji's eyes. "Fine then." She did one of  
the many things she thought impossible to do with Shinji; she sat on his lap and  
began shaking her rear end.  
  
"Stop teasing me, Asuka."  
  
Asuka jumped off Shinji. That tone of voice, that's the beginning. That scared  
her. She grabbed the towel from Shinji and wrapped herself in it, then ran to  
her bedroom. Shinji paid no attention to the sobs coming from behind the closed  
door. 


	2. Asuka's Need

Um... *slightly embarrassed look comes over his face* I finished fixing up the fic, I think. I don't care if I screwed up royally with this "patch", so I'm not going to apologize for it, I'm just going to make you read it, and I'll make you LIKE it!  
  
Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha! *cough cough gag choke* I definately MUST stop laughing maniacally.  
*--**--**--**--**--*  
  
  
Shinji stared at the ground below. Maybe, as some philosophers said, death was  
the ultimate release. Shinji wanted badly to find out, but only continued to  
stare at the broken pavement below instead of making his hasty way down to meet  
it.  
  
Shinji sighed. Asuka had cried herself asleep. Maybe Shinji would kill her first  
so she didn't have to suffer through her entire life without him, as long or  
short a life that may be. He cared about her, he really did, and he was willing  
enough to admit that to himself and to her, but he felt that she didn't really  
need to go through loss after loss and pain after pain on his account, or anyone  
elses either. She had just gotten over her "thing" with her mother, why restart  
the whole experience over with him doing what he had to do?  
  
It would be a mercy killing. Yes, that's it. Surely God and Kaworu would  
understand, and maybe he'd get into Heaven with them all and be happy for  
eternity. Ayanami might understand, but he doubted it. Asuka, she would  
understand it very well, and she would forgive him for it. Yes, a mercy killing.  
  
Shinji went inside. His stomach felt queazy, as all his instincts told him that  
it would be murder, cold-blooded, and stupid. It was as plain as that. But his  
head told him to do it anyway. He could reason it out later again that his  
intent was mercy, and not killing just to kill. But how to go about killing  
Asuka?  
  
She had removed all the knives from the apartment one day, fearing Shinji might  
do something to her, or worse, himself, with them if they stayed. She also threw  
out the iron and ironing board, since they didn't need to look presentable to  
anyone else in the world. Anything and everything that could be used as a  
weapon, including sewing thread and needle, were thrown out. Where Asuka had  
hidden everything was beyond Shinji, but apparently she had swept the entire  
apartment building and all the ones near the one they lived in. She had done it  
all in the days Shinji was stuck in bed because of his "accident". Every few  
hours, she would check up on him, making sure he didn't have another "accident"  
while she searched all the surrounding apartments, stores, and other remaining  
buildings in the area.  
  
Anything Asuka could consider a weapon, she had removed from Shinji's grasping  
hands. That didn't mean she had cut off his hands, and it wasn't for lack of  
trying that he failed when he used them against her. He had tried, three times  
already, to kill Asuka with his bare hands. Each time, her neck got redder and  
redder, her face bluer and bluer, but he couldn't bring himself to finish the  
deed.  
  
"Maybe it was because I didn't feel the way I do now. Maybe I just wanted her  
dead just to satisfy something in me. I didn't feel it was a mercy to let her  
die like I do now."  
  
Asuka pulled her ear away from Shinji's bedroom door. "Oh my God. He's going to  
try to kill me out of mercy? Misato, I wish you were here. Protect me from  
Shinji, please, Misato!" she whispered. 'Protect yourself. He's weak, and dumb,  
and he never finishes what he starts. He doesn't do anything right, which is why  
he kisses so bad and why he screwed up making this world.' "But I can't protect  
myself against him. I don't want to anymore. I want to make him understand me!"  
Asuka grabbed her head and began crying again.  
  
Shinji heard the crying and opened his door. He went to Asuka's and knocked on  
her door. "Asuka? What's wrong."  
  
Asuka felt like screaming, "Paper-thin walls, baka Shinji," but she only held  
her breath.  
  
"Asuka?" He opened the door to find Asuka sitting against a wall crying. "It's  
me, isn't it? I'm causing you so much pain, aren't I?"  
  
"You're the only one besides me who's here, idiot!" she screamed. As quickly as  
the words were out of her mouth, she covered her mouth. "No! I didn't mean it  
like that!" she said from behind her hands. Shinji closed the door and ran. "No!  
Wait! I didn't mean that! I didn't mean that, Shinji! Shinji!" she screamed. She  
ran to the door and flung it open. She ran to Shinji's door and found it locked.  
Strange, locks on any doors inside the apartment. When did he install this one?  
She made sure nothing could prevent her from reaching him, and him her, if  
anything were to happen.  
  
Asuka screamed and kicked at the door. Besides making a foot-sized hole, nothing  
significant had happened. She removed her bloodied foot and kicked again. She  
continued until her foot was too torn up to stick it through the door again, and  
she could crawl inside. She saw Shinji sitting on the balcony railing outside  
his room. He was crying.  
  
'Why did I have to say something so stupid? Why why WHY?!?' Asuka crawled in the  
room. Shinji didn't seem to notice anything, including the noise of either her  
violent entry into the room, or her yelping in pain every time she had to step  
with the bad foot. He seemed too lost in his own little world to pay any  
attention to her. "Shinji, come here, please. Eeep!" She stepped with her bad  
foot again. "Please?"  
  
"Asuka, isn't the sky so lovely at night without everyone's lights on?" He had  
on his face a pitiful little smile. "I don't know whether I'll miss it the most,  
or the way it used to look."  
  
"Shinji, please, get away from the balcony. Eeep." She grabbed Shinji's shirt  
and yanked him toward her, then cringed and yelped as she put even more weight  
on her torn foot. Shinji fell toward Asuka. Together they landed on the ground,  
him on top of her. Asuka, despite the pain, moved Shinji's head so she could  
look into his eyes. "You know, the Bible says this way is correct. Man on top,  
woman on bottom."  
  
"I asked you to stop teasing me, Asuka." The tone in his voice was unchanged  
from when he was on the balcony railing. She kew he wasn't going to do anything  
to her now.  
  
"I'm not teasing you."  
  
"Yes you are. You're only doing these things so you can feel better about  
yourself. You don't realize you don't have to tease me. I'm already suffering,  
and you're finding your way into my hands every time I need to inflict my  
suffering on something. I don't want you to suffer because of me." He grabbed  
her by the neck and started squeezing. "I don't want you to suffer because of  
me. When I die, you won't have to suffer. This is the only way you won't suffer,  
Asuka. Because I love you."  
  
Asuka's eyes bulged. She tore at his clenched fists with her nails, making his  
hands bleed. Still, he kept a firm and steadily increasing grip on her neck. She  
tried touching his cheek, the action that made him stop all the other times  
before, but it had no effect this time. Her last resort was to unzip Shinji's  
pants and feel around inside. He let go of her.  
  
"Stop this, Asuka," he commanded.  
  
Asuka let go and scurried backwards. She grabbed her own neck and coughed. Air  
returned to her in gulps. This made time number six, the fourth time he had  
actually tried to kill her, the sixth time he put his hands around her neck in  
anger. This time, he was going to finish the job. He was, until she wanted him  
in her last moment.  
  
Asuka stared at Shinji. He was backed up against the railing he looked angry and  
scared at the same time. He got up and turned around toward the outside. "I  
wanted to keep you from suffering from my mistake, Asuka. I wanted you to be  
free of pain and unhappiness." He grabbed the railing and put a leg over. "I'm  
sorry, Asuka. I'm sorry you're going to have to suffer."  
  
Asuka leapt up and grabbed Shinji's other leg before he could pull it over the  
edge. "You are not, NOT, going to kill yourself, Shinji Ikari!" she shouted. She  
got up, never mind the pain in her foot, and pulled Shinji's body up and over  
the railing to her side. She carried him into his bedroom and threw him through  
his door. "I'm sick and tired of you pissing and moaning about how I shouldn't  
have to suffer and you should because you made a really lousey mistake! I'm sick  
and tired of you complaining to all Hell that you want to die. And I'm sick and  
tired of your God damned hands on my neck! Shinji, you're really the last man on  
Earth! Everything I ever said to you, everything I ever joked about or teased  
you about when I told you, 'Not even if you were the last man on Earth',  
EMPHASIS ON MAN, it doesn't really matter anymore, damn it! I love you and you  
are not going to die on me now!"  
  
Shinji stared at Asuka from behind a splintered door and from behind hands  
sheltering his head. His eyes were watering. Tears streamed down his face. He  
had never once been as truely afraid of her as he was at that moment. It seemed  
as if the retribution of God himself had set its sights on him, and she was the  
weapon He was using. She way she held her hands on her hips, the way she stared  
furious at him, the way her foot bled... The way her foot bled? "Asuka, you're  
hurt."  
  
Asuka stomped over to him, on her good foot, and slightly limping off her bad  
one, and she gnashed her teeth. She bent over to grab Shinji. He shook all over  
by that point. Asuka picked up Shinji by the arm and stoof him out in front of  
her, her breath still coming through somewhat restricted airways ragged.  
  
Then, her face lost its anger and she hugged Shinji. "I don't want to lose you,  
Shinji." She cried onto his shoulder.  
  
"Asuka-"  
  
"Shut up and hug me." Shinji hugged Asuka as ordered.  
  
"Kiss me, please," he asked. She complied and kissed Shinji.  
  
The moment between them lasted just that, a moment, before Asuka cold no longer  
hold her own weight up on her bad foot and passed out from the pain.  
  
Asuka collapsed. Shinji caught her before she fell to the ground completely.  
"Asuka?!?" he yelled. He let go of her with one hand, still supporting her with  
the other, and felt her neck for a pulse. "What did I do? Asuka!" He felt her  
pulse slowing down from once raging to now a faint whisper. Then it regulated.  
He forgot completely about her breathing, but whether he would have remembered  
or not, he couldn't feel it or hear it with blood pounding in his face and ears.  
  
Shinji picked up Asuka completely and carried her to her room. Tears from his  
face hit hers on the way. He put her down onto her bed. He ran back to his room,  
forgetting about the wood on the floor, slipped, and fell. He got up again and  
went into his room. He grabbed the sheet from his bed and walked swiftly back to  
her room, remembering the broken door on the floor. He reached her bed and began  
tearing at his sheet. When he had made a strip of cloth, he dug the noticable  
splinters from Asuka's foot and then wrapped the cloth around it. He tore more  
strips, to be used as bandages later. He might have to change the one on in a  
few minutes. Already he saw blood staining the off-white cloth.  
  
"Asuka, I don't want you to die. Please, don't die, please!"  
  
Asuka opened her eyes. "Baka. I'm not going to die from this. You're  
overreacting." She brought her hand to his face and caressed it. He grabbed her  
hand.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
  
Asuka smiled. "Stop apologizing. You're a man, Shinji. The last man on Earth."  
That didn't stop him from apologizing. 


End file.
